This definitely sounds like your This Suburban Housewife Votes Biden Harris 2020 Shirt sister is jealous of you and your wife, which I totally understand. But what I don’t get, is her being hurtful and resentful to your wife’s face, especially since you guys help her with babysitting and partial rent payments. I even get the part of not getting a large sum of money. I have half and step-siblings, and our extended family doesn’t always align. This has at times boosted certain siblings financially at different times than others. While I agree with you it sounds like your sister is holding this against you also, its also absurd to do so.
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Because angry people often don’t This Suburban Housewife Votes Biden Harris 2020 Shirt recognizes the root cause and looks for somewhere to lay the blame. This usually winds up making their problems worse, which leads to more anger, and more lashing out, and the cycle continues. OP’s wife was just an easy target. She probably didn’t even think beyond her current anger to the consequences, and now fear is making her back into a corner and lash out worse. I almost think it might be more jealousy that the wife could go get a better job than the sister has, given the wife’s level of education.